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eiraena
03-02-2003, 07:06 PM
i am applying for a scholarship through the english department at my university. i need to submit 4 poems but i only have 3 that i really like. i would apreciate it if y'all could offer me your opinion on which one the 4th poem should be. the first 3 w/out numbers are the ones i am submitting for sure, and the other #ed ones are the ones you guys need to choose from. this is really important to me and i want your opinions. so plz post back.

DARK COMFORT

A thousand years of darkness
In a world without a sun
A lifetime spent alone in Hell
With nowhere left to run

A world of private losses
That no one else can feel
Where the ghosts and demons of my past
Are still every bit as real

Frozen in the hopelessness
Of an eternity of pain
The open arms of Death’s oblivion
Seem to call my name

Then through the night a hand reaches out
Beckoning the way
If only I was brave enough to follow
And face the light of day

_________________________
A penny for your thoughts
Twenty bucks to act them out
Tequila drowns your sorrows
While religion cures your doubt
A pill for every ailment
A fight for every cause
And what’s the loss of freedom
If it helps enforce the law?
Power to the people
Takes money from the rich
If the democrats are happy
The republicans will bitch
Guns and gangs and bombs in schools
Sex and drugs and rock ‘n roll
Teenage mothers smoking crack
And twelve year olds on birth control
A penny for your thoughts…
An election for your dreams…
No matter how you view the world
Its not as simple as it seems
____________________________

A dream a chance to change the world
A chance too far taken and the world hurled
Into a revolution fought
With force of which the world knew naught
Missiles flying in the darkness
Fallout in the morning’s starkness
People crying, nations dying
Revolution’s children whying
Ask those who inherit only dust
How high the price for mankind’s lust?
_____________________________________

#1Icy fingers of worry
Eat away
At my shakey security
Sucking out
The laughter from things that would
Make me smile
I seem to be alone
In knowing
That something bad is going to happen
As this anxiety
Swallows up
Another mouthful of my will
I wonder
If you are OK
_________________________
#2
Tick tick tock
The seconds of my life pass by
And are eaten by the langaliers
Tick tick tock
The waters of Morgana’s river flow past
A kaleidoscopic blend of Life and Death and Sexuality
Tick tick tock
Life’s loves and losses become tiny grains of sand
In Chronos’ sacred hour glass
Tick tick tock
The clock strikes one and the mouse goes deaf
Hickory dickory dock
___________________________
#3

DEPRESSION

A sinking feeling
In the pit of your stomach
Like watching someone drown
But not being able to do
Anything about it
And then you realize
That person is you
_____________________________________
#4
Ashes to ashes, dust to dust
Killing for greed and murder for lust

The shores of our waters are red with blood
From a history built on battles and war

In the fields lie the unburied dead
Testimony to unspeakable horror

Jihads for God and wars to make peace
Until we learn for the past the violence wont cease

The wages of war are paid in innocent blood
Has nobody bothered to count up the dead?

The wounded? The maimed?
We pay the debt in others’ pain
But the weight of their grief hangs over our heads
_______________________________________________
ok, so that is all my depressing poetry. please pick one of the #ed ones to go with the other 4.

p.s. if you make fun of them i will find you and kill you.

viele dank

Paprika
03-02-2003, 07:22 PM
girlfriend, kill the caps in the title. You should know better than that.

I vote for number #4

kitty
03-03-2003, 12:44 PM
I like #4 best too.

03-03-2003, 01:57 PM
i like number 1 and number 3 the best. ur really good. sum of ur lines really got 2 me

Troz
03-03-2003, 02:20 PM
Definitely # 4 :) Thought they're all really good. you're very good at that eiraena...

~Troz*

eiraena
03-03-2003, 07:25 PM
lol, everybody seems to like #4. i actually forgot to put that one on and had to add it later. i wasnt going to use it, but maybe i will now. i was actually going to use #1 but perhaps i will reconsider. :roll:

03-03-2003, 11:18 PM
HEHE HOHO HAHA...they all sucked.... J/K...that "p.s. if you make fun of them i will find you and kill you." thing kinda excited me. I personally liked number 3 the best though number 4 seemed good. I guess I just liked number 3 cause it reminds me of myself. You are awesome at poetry....wish I could do stuff like that. I remember last year my english teacher who had a doctorate degree actually took something of mine and got it published. Enough chatter about my little achievement in the world of writing. You kick @55.

Mike
03-03-2003, 11:23 PM
the guest was me just in case ud like to know...
"p.s. if you make fun of them i will find you and kill you."
justa reminder of what u said ud do

Paprika
03-04-2003, 12:35 AM
yeahhh, but we all know she's just kidding..
don't take it seriously.

Mike
03-04-2003, 11:33 PM
shucks

eiraena
03-05-2003, 02:20 PM
*Edited by Paprika*
Nuh uh. This reply just will not float girlfriend. Don't post stuff like that. Its negitve, demeaning, and it seriously hurt.

03-14-2003, 10:48 PM
i like #1 and then #4 but they were all awesome...thanks for posting

DevLvAngelLvCowboy
03-18-2003, 11:33 AM
i like #4 the best

eiraena
06-01-2003, 09:47 PM
yeah, sorry hun...i'd never make it that easy for you. death is the easy way out. i'd come up with something far more painful and creative than just that. :[15]:

Crowlia
06-02-2003, 05:18 AM
number 4... definatley.