soap opera, the next episode...

[eiraena]

ok, so i havent posted for a while. but the Anti-seventh heaven soap opera has continued, as always, and here are my new issues.

my 'kids' have to go spend the weekend with Satan (their mom, who is a herpes infested bar-whore), and this stupid court case with their dad is still pending, and its really pissing me off.

my cousin emily, who is a lesbian, stopped in town on tuesday to inform me that she is having a baby with a 18 year old guy (she is 23). she refers to him as a 'co-parent'. at least she doesnt want me to deliver the baby anymore, unless hse really cant find another midwife. then at 2 o'clock on wednesday morning, emily's one time girlfriend (the one i referreed to as the Satanist) flipped out and called her sister in chicago to come and get her, and then tried to steal all of emily and marilyn's traveling money.

i am supposed to go on vacation w/ emily and marilyn (em's other lesbian traveling buddy), but marilyn has a crush on me (which doesnt really bother me too much, but it has to do with the soap opera). and by the time em comes to get me she could be two-three weeks pregnant- which ought to be an emotional thrill ride.

my tarot cards keep telling me that something drastic and beyond my control is going to happend to my oldest kid, and i am getting all paranoid now. i dont like things that i cant control.

the thing is still being obnoxious but i am devising a way to bind it to an object that wont be disturbed.

so, i have lots of stupid issues right now...but if the herpes-infested-bar-whore does anything nasty to my kids, i am going to rip out HER soul and permantly bind it to something.

hope everyone has a good holiday...if that's not entirely possible, than just try to stay out of jail, the hospital, or the morgue.

eiraena

[Paprika]

hmm.. You may have said someting about it before but I didn't know you had kids. Tell me a bit about this.

[eiraena]

ok, so here is the story of my 'kids'.

i collect children from dysfunctional situations, and help them until it becomes obvious to me that they are just using me, or until they are back on thier feet. usually, these are just kids i go to school with, but my 'kids' are special.

their mom, who i call Satan/ Herpes infested bar whore, is exactly that. the woman caught herpes cheating on her husband and didnt know it until he told her she had herpes. a real genius there, you can tell.

so their dad divored Satan, and married the aunt and mother of two of my three best friends. (confusing there, my two friends are cousins) the kids are now 15 and 13, and want to live with their dad and step mom full time, but Satan (who is also an 'ex' crack addict) keeps giving sob stories to the judge and the custody is 50-50.

at easter, their dad, got into some troulbe with the law, and it could jeopordize his custody claim, which was the court case i was referring to.

Satan is very mean to the oldest kid, her son, because she only wanted a daughter but she had the boy first. he keeps running away to his dad's house everytime she locks him in his room for something stupid. and his sister, she just hate her mom.

so, i have been deemed the kids offial-protector-from-evil, i.e. the system and their mom. i spend most of my days entertaining and conspiring with them and their step sister, and i am very protective of the m to say the least.

they are such good kids, and i dont want their parents' faults to fuck them up and start a nasty cycle. and their success in how they turn out gives me something to judge myself by. they need me as much as i need them.

and such is the story of my 'kids'.