Freak! [Archive] - Teen Moods

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06-30-2002, 09:58 PM

I'm fuckin' sorry i didn't fuckin register but i fuckin hate this shitty hellhole and i wanna get the fuck outta here i fuckin hate my shittty life!

Paprika

07-01-2002, 12:51 AM

o, are you talking about your life or this site? I made a mistake asking you to register. ANy guest can post you don't have to register.

07-02-2002, 01:31 PM

Sorry, I wasn't talking about this forum. I was talking about my life. Just saying sorry I didn't register but I really don't feel like it. Sorry if my message was misinterpreted.

Paprika

07-02-2002, 06:52 PM

its ok. I *really* hate my lfe too and from what I've heard about h ow doctors can't always help and Meds suck, I feel there is no hope. I think about killing myself atleast 30 times a day, if not more. You see one problem that eats at me is that I have Social Axienity amoung other things, and me being 14 I am atttracted to girls my age... I mean ALLOT of them, and most of them like me back-but- because I suffer fron Social Acientity I never want to talk to them, I am alwasy scared and I really prefer not to be aroung girls but yet you can catch me drooling over them in their athletic shorts everyday during Summer P.E. class... Oh well, It really hurts inside. But thats just one of my many problems, I also have Major Depressive Disorder, and some Naricisitic Personality Traits/behavoiors. I don't get much support from my mother and th eonly thing standing in my way of killing myself is the pain of it. One day I may do it anyway though, but because of all my worries I would like to be in my most comfortable posisition when I pull the trigger or take the pill.... :cry:

Lord_Data

07-20-2002, 06:37 AM

hmmmm....i hate my life because i don't know where i am going...can you believe i am 21 and haven't worked a day in my life....niether can i...the there is college which the classes even though fairly difficult for most i find remedial...a teacher this past year accused me of cheating on one assignment(which i didn't cheat that little bastid)so i dealt with it in a calm manner...talking with people that could give me a course of action to start out with and then having a meeting with the teacher...basically that guy didn't listen to a word i had to say and he failed me...and why? i have no clue and....oh dear gid i am sorry bitch bitch bitch that is all i do...i apologize for it and will not bring my story of self-pity into this post...but i do like the name of this forum hehehe reminds me of that wayans guy from scary movie hehehe which i amsure you guys got it from there so why am i still typing...wow...oh and i was thinking about your comment on girls and how you feel around them and what not...i am 21 and haven't had a relationship and am seriously wondering if i should go see a therapist or something to figure out if anxiety might be my problem cause i feel the same way....damn that would be another problem to bitch about...

paprika do you ever just get the feeling that you like a girl or girls but you would never go and talk to them and you know the only way that you would ever go out with them is if they came over and talked to you???

i mean hell my senior prom date had to come and ask me...even though i knew for certain that she wanted to go with me...well actually i think i was her default date or something but yeah life would be so much easier if women would come to me and ask me out...oh and that prom date thing didn't go any3where near what i had planned....that was some bad news...but after prom everyone hated her...except me....or maybe i did...

sorry rambling this is what i get for being awake still again everyday at 3am..340am...

ok off i go...pap i feel for you man

Paprika

07-20-2002, 11:44 AM

thanks Lord_Data, the really means allot to me. Yeah, thats right I won't talk to girls but I always refuse to go out with them. I have not been to the homecomming dance and plan not to go to the one this year. I'd rather lay in my bed in the dark listening to soft sad music and cry myself to sleep.. Oh well, btw you can post whatever you want, whenever you want, don't hold back.

DantziJean

07-20-2002, 12:07 PM

Don't sweat it guys...I had to ask my boyfriend out and I am currently interested in another guy with whom I also instigated the contact. You don't need to be so old fashioned any more. Although some girls have many self-esteem issues (echm--Raena), most will ask you out if you seem open and interesting. Just open up and you'll find that most girls will ask you.

Paprika

07-20-2002, 12:28 PM

yeah but I hate to turn them all down... but I have no other choice, I'm not ready for relationships, or any of that, I still gotta get my life stright.

Data888

07-20-2002, 09:21 PM

I understand what you mean Paprika. You sound a lot like me now, only younger. I often think about killing myself, but I'd never do it. I'm not sure why though. I just know no matter how much I think about it, I'd never do it.
Anyway, as for MOTAS (members of the attractive sex) don't feel too bad. You've had no more luck that 17 year old me, and I've got friends even older who've done no better. I'm starting to get really too cynical for my own good. I think I've got such a fear of being laughed at, ridiculed that I won't do anything that would require the slightest risk. In an ideal world girls woul approach me, but no, I'm ugly, fat and a guy, so I'm expected to do the hard work. And I'm so afraid of being laughed at/turned down that I can't even think of doing it. Ugh, life sucks. And doing a Infomation Systems course at University isn't going to help much, since I've been told that IT courses have the worst female:male ratio out of almost anything. So life sucks now, and I've got nothing to look forward to.

Anyway, that's what's on my mind right now. And on that cheery note, I'm finishing this post before I sound even more pathetic.

Nick

Paprika

07-20-2002, 11:15 PM

yeah man i feel ya too, but it bothers me like hell because I am attracted to these girls so much and I know they are attracted to me but social phobia holds me back, that along with a million other reasons. Ahh... I guess good old Zoloft isn't working yet.... I can train myself not to be attracted to girls but I still need a life goal... i dunno. my thoughts are tapering off now..

Lord_Data

07-21-2002, 12:24 AM

Wolf

07-21-2002, 06:02 AM

Well it seems that all of us guys in this place have the same problem with girls. I really hate this delema, I'm terrible at these kinds of social situations unfortunitely it has caused me to withdraw from this kind of situation so much that I don't think anyone is attracted to me and I have no way of knowing. Of course it isn't like I would know what to do if I knew someone was attracted to me anyways. One time a girl said that I was like a teddy bear and all I could do was look down and blush, unfortunitely this was in the middle of class so I couldn't go anywhere.

Well Paprika that makes two of us who aren't planning to go to any dances in our sophmore year. (anyways it would be sort of a waste for me to go to one because I don't know how to dance)

Lord_Data

07-21-2002, 06:11 AM

blah! 3am again>:(

anyways lets see where did my social type rejection get me....i am 21...haven't been in a relationship...haven't gotten laid(although this isn't necessarily a big deal)...i have one really good friend who is a girl and of course this is the girl i am obssing over

yeah figured i would post because i was going through my yearbook and i happened to turn to a page that she had written to me in...when a girl uses words like big brother...best friends...etc. its not good....at least i don't think it is...you know it is funny...all of us with similar social issues...while the asshole guys that give people like us a bad name ruin it for us...you know i was always raised to treat a girl with respect and shower her with riches...some of the people i have seen my acquantences date are the opposite...i was in a parking lot the other day and this man and his gf/wife were fighting...he was about to hit her until i walked over there...and then what happened? the woman looked at me as if i was crazy cause i didn't beat women....wtf is that about???
anyways like i said it is 3am which means random post time...so mreh

Paprika

07-21-2002, 01:35 PM

oh yeah, that woman gots problems

I gotta share some situations now too :D :

There was this girl that sat in front of me in my History (aka Social Studies) class. She looked OK to me, but truely I was more intrested in her personality. So when I started talking to her everyday she started to get the ideal that I was intrested, so she would also start up random conversations whenever the class was in idle mode (more on that later). Then for some dtupid reason i wrote her a note telling her I liked her, also in hopes she would write back....i wish I never had done that....
over the next two days we didn't talk because I could never find any idle time. so the next day after the two silent days she dropped the bomb on me... using my friend who sat behind me. here is the dialog:

In walks my friend Josh
In walks Sarah behind him..
As josh goes to sit in his seat he says
"Hey Sarah, do you remember that conversation we had on the phone last night about how you like Darvell(ME! :) )?"
She says: "... Yeah I remember that conversation"
Obviously this was stages but all hell broke loose in my mind, my palms got sweaty and I was getting scared. I didn't know what to do or say, then Josh says
"man Fuzz (my nickname), she likes you! You'd better say someting!"
Then the irritating Hip-Hop kid that sits in diagnoly from me start to say shit, the kinda stuff that starts to tick you off because its pressuring you to day someting to the girl. So out of all the overwehlming information being pushed at me I put my head down, making the illision that I was tired. OMG, I didn't know what to say to the girl. Feeling like the usual bum I kept my silence for the rest of the class period, every time someone would try to bring the subject up I would have to tell them to shut up in their tracks, it was hell for me. This was the last period of the day so I could relax as soon as I got on the bus home. I call social situations i hate Death Bowls, so I knew I would be walking into Death Bowl 35 everytime I went to that class for the rest of the semester. OoOoo and I felt like a bum...again. I see her every day in the halls and places and I feel bad I didn't say anything. You see, I need to just quit that shit because its not a very productive thing to do. Then liek a week later she and her best friend in that class took up a special assignment in wich they would be in the library doing research everyday instead of attending regular class... I felt like I caused her to leave. But then my stupid tail started messing with anthor girl in that class.... obviously she liked me, It was like she and I were the best looking people in the class, but anyway, I kept talking to her and then eventualy she handed me a note asking weither I was doing anything that weekend, and my phone number :cry: This is not a good thing, I didn't even write her back. Now, that really didn't phase her so she moved infront of me, i guess to be closer to her friend the Hip-Hop kid who was irritating. Well Mr. Hip-Hop kid thought that she and I should last forever so he start bringin the subject of she and I up allt he time. Talking abotu when we were gonna go out and shit. It was not as much of a problem as the Sarah situation because it was like we were all kidding around and it was in the spirit of fun because we were constantly playing with eachother, she and I that is, taking each others' stuff and hidning it and all sort sof silly stuff. Well, I had not too much to worry about there..

There was this other situation where I liked this girl starting in 6th grade, I told my best friend that I liked her and pretty soon word got out and word got back to me that she liked me too. But thank god, nothing happened because we were on differnt teams(explained later). In 7th grade, same school me and the girl wereon the same team this time :( . After about a month or so. I found my lunch table to be right across from hers. my good friend Johnny, some other people and of course yours turely :P . So we would find ourselves messing around with them on occasion. I'm not sure how it started but next thing ya know we like each other then the day comes... I can remember it now.. I was not bothering anyone! I walked to my 1st period class and when I sat down the girl in front of me asked me did I go out with Alicia (thats her name, the girl I liked that is). I said, no, lol. Well a few more people came in asking me the same question. Now anthor Hip-Hop kid of the time cam in and started talking about how I'd better watch out for Johnny because he liked her too... wooo, I got worried for a bit but then it faded. Next period, 2nd period, Alicia was in the class, me and my social phobia had no intentions of questioning her about why everyone thought we went out, so inthat class she comes in the class defending herself from her friends saying that she didn't go out with anyone, obviously to me this was staged in some way so I just sat there, at then end of class as I approached the door of my 3rd period class her friend Lacy gave me anote from Alicia.. Woooptie Doo! Maybe this will clear things up I thought to myself.So in my 3rd Period clas, my friend Johnny happen to be in there too, as soon as he came in the room I questioned him about all of this ruccus about me and alica going out, she says he heard it too, he dosen't know whats going on either. I showed him the note., and the silly teacher took it. Everyone knew about what was going on between me and Alica, all this confusions and such. Well duirng lunch I was nervious that the note said to respond to her right away, and I had that on top of my general axienty about being within a visable rang of the opposite sex. After luch me and Johny were upset we didn't have the note for me to read. well when she sent the class off for our restroom break she told me that the note was in my math book. In the restroom I went into a stall and had johnny guard the door while I read it.. Well the note really just said Hi, how are you? and oh I like you, but you probably aready know that. and it said write back. So the next day I tried to wave to her in the hall and everything started to go so slow really bad then I fainted from the over concentration. I got right back up though. So that night I wrote a responce note, it took me like 2 hours to write it because I wanted it to be perfect. Well in the hall I gave it to her, no big deal that day. Then Fred stepped into the picture. This guy like Alicia too, he was not shy but was a quite nice guy...I think he had a afro at the time.. but anyway... he liked her and beggd me to... umm not exactly give her up but he kept wanting to know do I like her, I told him no becuause i wouldn't be able to perfue a relationship anyway. Johnny done the same thing. So soon she turned fred down, I lost a fight infront of my entire team which resulted in her going out with Johnny. I wasn't hurt at all, she going out with my best friend was not a problem. But yeah, seing them in the hall all huged up on each other and only in 7th grade really bothered me. at times it almost hurt. Well, what it is about me is that if i found out that a girl liked me I would have someting like a panic attack and then I wouldn't know how to talk to her, when to talk or anything! I couldn't even imagine going out with anyone... but my mind still has me dreaming of girls at 3am in my sleep :wink:

07-30-2002, 11:00 PM

hmmm apparently i enjoy telling stories to help explain my advice/opinions

so anyways the girl i currently obsess over who is dating my best friend....yeah same kind of thing social phobia that made me not ask her and then instead of me gettint the love of my life...my friend gets her....FUCK!!!

damn now depressy and pissed...sorry

i do suggest trying to take the necessary steps to rid yourself of the phobia...you don't want to turn out like me thats for sure...and data888...in all reality i would garentee most people have thought of suicide i don't think its worth it but yeah i have gone through with it not once...not twice...but thrice...believe me all of you...not a good thing to do...so i recommend stop thinking about it cause garenteed the more you think the more likely it is to happen...ok immah go feel sorry for myself now...sigh...thanks for bringing the girls thing up paprika and letting me tell that little story:) helps when i tell people things:)

Hey man, I know how you feel, my best friend stole the girl I loved, but I got over it, and I found someone even better, and omg she's wonderful. There are people out there for all of you, and if you hold out and don't do anything stupid (like killing yourselves) You'll find that perfect someone. I had to chat on the internet to find my someone, and you may have to do the same, but you'll find em. You'll have him/her someday!

Paprika

08-01-2002, 03:29 AM